Tues. Dec. 1. I was out all day doing errands called at the Exponent Office, saw Mrs. Richards¹ in the evening Mr. Hendrie came and spent the [p. 96] {p. 98} evening with us, we had a serenade,

Wednes. Dec. 2. Mother and I went up to Sister [Mary Ann Angell] Young’s while mother was there the news came that Alice [Clawson] had died in the at St. George, I went down to Mellie’s to see little Leslie Mrs. [Mary Ellen Richards] Webber called on her, Em. came while I was there, afterwards I went up to bring Mother home; Ort. came and played for us, I did not feel very well, there was no meeting of the association;

Thurs. Dec 3. it rain<ed> all day I went to fast-meeting and to the Relief Society– Sister E. R. Snow and Lydia Ann both had lunch here with us, in the evening I went up to my sisters and had supper, came home alone [p. 97] {p. 99}

Friday Dec. 4. I was not very well went over to the Exponent Office called on Mrs. Ellen [Spencer] Clawson. went up to Belle’s

Sat. Dec. 5. Went to Mell’s to dinner Mother Em. Lou. & I. afterwards took mother home and called on Mrs. Eliza Kingsbury went with Em, Mr. Hendrie Will & Mell up to Adeline’s to a surprise party, came home about twelve o’clock–

Sun. Dec. 6. Adeline is forty-five today I was invited up there to dinner but was not able to go, I was very lonely all day in the evening, Ort and Em. went over to [Austin and Louisa Farnsworth] Shipp’s– Elvira Stevens called on me to say her adopted daughter had a son. [p. 98] {p. 100}

Mon. Dec. 7. This is Annie’s birthday she is fifteen today– I gave her a new hat Em. gave her a pair of gloves, Lou. a ruffle. Eliza got up a surprise-party and brought here they had a pleasant time;

Tues. Dec. 8. This is Cordelia [Woodward Hinckley]’s birthday– she is to far away to even congratulate her, how I would like to see her, but it is not possible Lile called also Dessie & Claire Little

Wednes. Dec. 9. In the morning Mrs. Grant came then David [Evans] Wilson, said Grandmother [Catherine Davies] Wilson was well she is ninety-three now, Carrie Carter called in the [p. 99] {p. 101} afternoon, told me some of her troubles and experience; the association met here in the evening, not very well attended; Flora Shipp and her brother were visiting it;

Thurs. Dec. 9 <10.> Went out all morning doing errands, returning home about twelve, Mr. Hendrie joined me and came home with me, staid about an hour talking with me, of our acquaintance and subjects of mutual interest to us; O how glad I would be if he would only be one of our faith, and go down into the waters of baptism, my heart would rejoice with joy unspeakable, however he is my friend and that must content me for the present I suppose how long that may endure we can none of us tell, for friendship often dies out and passes away; [p. 100] {p. 102} how many sworn friends of mine of my own sex have become cold indifferent and even enemies within twenty years; and who shall say he will not be like all the rest; it is in the nature of things I suppose; all things are transitory even life itself, we have no surety of– but if we could only feel our friends loved us with an abiding love reaching into futurity how much comfort it would yield us; in the evening Mr. Hendrie called for about an hour, played with the children, chatted with Em. and betook himself to his card party;– it is Mays 20th. birth<day>

Friday Dec. 11. This is Onie’s birthday she is five years old, I have been busy preparing my piece for the paper, called on Mrs. Richards’ coming home about four o’clock my friend came to meet me and walked a block with me said he should [p. 101] {p. 103} go to Bingham on Saturday; What can be the cause of the feeling of nearness which is in my heart for him, it is an enigma to me I have tried every way in the world to put this feeling from me;; Em. went to the party in the Assembly-Rooms with Junie[;] Lou. went to [Hiram B. and Ellen] Clawson’s and staid all night, Annie and I were very lonely and I was not well my nerves were over-strained; I have been weeping for a day or two more than is usual with me; I pray and struggle against it with all my strength;

Sat. Dec. 12. Joanna [Robertson] Whitney is 49. today– how intimate we were once and now we have not a thought in common, not one; she is far from here among other scenes and with far different associations, and I am just as I was then save older and more experienced, with my children [p. 102] {p. 104} grown up around me and many new ties to bind me to earth and its mortality; I wonder whether she ever even thinks of us, and the many good times we had together, and the variety of changes we saw during our intimacy in family affairs; well that also is past and it is seldom I recall it for to me there are so many painful feelings connected with its history that to uncover it or unseal it is like opening a vault wherein are dead men’s bones; well, well, no more of this; it gives me the horrors to look back and recall those days, I hardly know now [how] I endured without murmuring;

In the afternoon went to the 14th. Ward to meeting had a very excellent meeting Mother Whitney got up and bore her testimony to the Gospel and spok[e] of her [p. 103] {p. 105} long standing and experience in the Gospel; I came home very ill, and continued through the night to have nervous headache; Lou. was sick too;

Sun. Dec. 13. I am still suffering with my head and back, I cannot sit up or read or scarcely endure the pain, Sister [Margaret Mitchell] Blythe came and talked to me until I was weary wanted me to influence my husband to have Charlotte Lanesbury taken to the Insane Asylum Susie [Susan] Winder came to invite Lou. up there; Annie went up to her father’s to get her history lesson, Em. went to Belle’s to practice on the piano– in the evening we were quite alone Wm. Dunford called a few minutes I was all alone the greater part of the day and all the early part of the evening; [p. 104] {p. 106}

Mon. Dec. 14. Salina came to Mellie today Andrea² came home and Mrs. Larsen went to Lile’s last evening; Mell. & Belle have both called today also Mrs. Brooks, Harry Emery is spending the evening here; May Earl is going to sleep here;

I am a little better today; Mr. Hendrie came rather late in the evening, and after sitting down stairs awhile came up to see me; he was very friendly, expressed his regrets for my <ill> health &c.

Tues. <Dec. 15.> Was a beautiful day very cold and lonely for I was not well went down to Mary Jane’s towards evening; Alice Clawson’s corpse came up today

Wednes. Dec. 16. I went up to Mrs. Brooks and took dinner with several ladies had a good [p. 105] {p. 107} time she was sixty-nine years old; came home and spent the evening all alone, Em. went to the Association

Thurs. Dec. 17.

Mother came up in the morning, in the afternoon Mrs. Grant Aunt Zina Lydia Ann & Susan came Aunt Zina went from here up to Alice Clawson’s funeral; we had a very pleasant time: in the evening we were all alone;

Friday Dec. 18. at Carrie Gr Katie [Lucy Catherine] Granger’s birthday she would have been thirty-six today how terrible for one to die so young and beautiful and beloved as she was I took Mother up to Sister [Eleanor Walters] Winder’s Horace [K. Whitney] came here today; Em went to a party in the 14th. ward with Harry Emery I got a new pair of shoes today. [p. 106] {p. 108}

<Emmie went to the party> O how wretchedly unhappy I am tonight May God forgive me, I have every reason to be thankful and yet I feel this terrible lack in my heart which is so natural where women cannot go to their husband in full faith and confidence of having their affection valued and reciprocated.

Sat. Dec. 19. 1874

I was sitting all day writing, mother was here down stairs amusing herself, in the evening Joshua was here and brought us a bottle of wine, Em. called on Lile and took dinner with Mellie;

Sun. Dec. 20. Mrs. Precindah [Prescinda Huntington] Kimball and aunt Zina called and staid to lunch we all went to meeting with mother– afterwards went home [p. 107] {p. 109} with mother; Harry spent the eve<ning>

Mon Dec. 21. This is my mother’s birthday she would be either 80. or 81 we seem undecided about it sister Lucy says 80, 81. A very beautiful day we are all well– Lou had some of her friends.

Tues. Dec. 22. Rather a disagreeable day, Inez came and had lunch with us, in the evening Ort called a few minutes,

Wednes. Dec. 23. School closed for the holidays, Em. got no money, she felt rather blue at that the Association met here afterwards Em. & Annie [p. 108] {p. 110} went to the Fair in the 14th. Ward, Lou went skating– I was alone most of the evening and depressed in spirits I went up town and bought a present for a friend who has been unusually kind to me; it is very hard times dull and gloomy in that respect;

Dec. 24.

We have been very busy today putting down carpets, and changing things in the upper rooms; in the afternoon while we were all out of the parlor A friend of ours left a parcel upon the table; A book for me Elegant Poetical Extracts by Watson;³ a gold pen with pearl-handle for Em. and candy for the girls; [p. 109] {p. 111}

Park [Nehemiah Park Woods] bought hats for Daisie & Onie, Will bought shoes for Mellie and Daisie; and candy nuts etc. for all Mell. had Will a pair of slippers embroidered and made up and Wallin even brought candy for the children; the Esq. broug[ht] candy & nuts, Belle sent me a very pretty lamp-mat and Inez gave me a pair of zephyr cuffs of her own crocheting;

I gave Em. & Mell a ruffle also Annie & Louie a bookmark we passed a very pleasant evening were up until after midnight

Christmas Dec. 25.

We were sewing until three oclock then we all went to Martha’s to dinner; Park Will & Mell Lile and Ned, Hannah Abbie and Junie, and myself– the Esq. dined with us on Turkey [p. 110] {p. 112} plum-pudding mince-pie etc. Lydia Ann invited Em. An. Lou. came home at dusk Em. went to the party in the fourteenth ward with Harry Emery and Lou. with Parley [Paralee] Kimball; Annie and I were here alone; and instead of our having a quiet evening as we anticipated Wm. came drunk and made an awful row– we did not let him in notwithstanding all his threats and swearing;

Sat. Dec. 26. Belle called in the morning; Mother came up and went to meeting in the 14th. Ward, bore her testimony and sang in tongues, Zina interpreted she came home with me and we had a pleasant evening

Sun. Dec. 27. May [Mary J.] Earl’s birthday Mother Em. & I all went down to Mell’s to dinner [p. 111] {p. 113} had turkey and plum pudding; I went afterwards with sister Zina to administer to sister [Elizabeth Anderson] Howard; we were all alone through the evening– Emmie was not well at all;

Mon. Dec. 28. I went to several places to call upon the sick and poor and needy; trying to do all the good I could in a feeble way and find out what could be done to benefit their condition temporally; in the afternoon Mr. Hall called on us; in the evening Mr. Hendrie came and staid about two hours; how I enjoy his society; there seems so much geniality about him and such a pleasing variety in his conversation; Will & Mell called later on their way home from Lile’s; [p. 112] {p. 114}

Tues. Dec. 29. I have had a great many callers today; been around in some outlandish places hunting up the poor; went with Sister Young to wash & Anoint Sister Howard; ; we were alone in the evening; Mother went down home today with Belle in the buggy;

Tues. Dec. 30. <Wednes. Dec. 30.>

Went to several places to see after the poor and with Lydia Ann to buy some things for them coming home Mr. Hendrie joined me and walked down with me to the gate went in the evening to distribute, about eight oclock Mr. Hendrie called, on his way to Julia [A.] Kimball’s [p. 113] {p. 115} Mary Josephine [“May” Earl] was here spending the evening; Lou, was gone to Dr. [Isiah] White’s Em. was at the association

Thurs. Dec. 31. 1874

Mother and I were invited to sister Grant’s to dinner had a turkey– sister E. R. Snow was there Miss Cook Miss VanRenselliar and several other ladies, in the evening Mother sung in tongues and blessed all present, this is the last day of the old year, which always gives any one the most peculiar feelings, for my own part I have had much to be thankful for in this present year, Em went to the fourteenth ward, [p. 114] {p. 116} <Em. and I went to the store and bought a Book>