This is May day how very gay we used to be when I was a child– it is a very pleasant day I came home in the afternoon but only reached here in the evening. found letters waiting for me. Helped Annie with the baby some and we had a nice time together. I am trying to get up with my work but find it very slow indeed. I am so troubled because I cannot do what I wish (<went to the> grave yard–)

The girls have been in and we have arranged to meet Verona at the depot– we had flowers in her room at the Hotel Zine and I fixed them. At a few minutes to 7 p.m. a coach & four drove up & I accompanied by Nett, Emeline, Kate, May Lyde, & Edna [Wells] drove to the depot we took many flowers, & one beautiful basket. They came & we took them to the [p. 61] {p. 88} Hotel. “The Cullen.”

I dined with the newly married couple, and we spent the evening together. Barry [N. Hillard] came home with me about eleven. This morning they went to the cemetery and took up flowers, and then <after having> come up here first. After lunch I went down and Verona & I went out to do some shopping. Ordered a hat for her at the Milliner’s, and went to the theater to see “Little Lord Fauntleroy.”

This morning was very unpleasant but about time to go to the Lake went down to the Hotel and found lots of callers. Managed to get off in time by taking a carriage Jote [Josephine Beatie Wells] & Chetchie [Josephine Wells], Zine & Racie [Horace Whitney] Emeline & Lyde & Edna and Nett Culmer & Florence Beattie went with us. We had a fine pic nic. and a pleasant time, tho’ the weather was not favorable. Lyde Edna & Florence bathed– [p. 62] {p. 89}

Last evening we spent at Nett’s Rule & Jote & Jo [Joseph B.] Toronto were there Zine & Ort had a lovely time and the best of refreshments. Harry [Henry A. L. Culmer] showed us his studio and we enjoyed it very much. Annie came down with the dear little baby & I met her at the depot. we went to the Hotel and had lunch with Verona & husband, she showed Annie her trosseau. We took her to the train Louise was with her. Then we went to Camp Douglas and Mt Olivet– and came back to the house here– had company in the evening music & songs.

Today we had lunch at Rose [Sipple] Wightman’s and afterwards Mr. & Mrs. Hillard called on Mrs. [Mary Elizabeth Richards] Almy. Later I went to the hotel and dined with them and we went to see Booth & Barrett– in the play of Shylock. I went down to the Hotel & Barry brought me up home– my last call. [p. 63] {p. 90}

This is a dreadful morning and I walked to the depot– so did Aunt Zina. We went to Ogden & found Annie waiting. Bade Verona & Barry Good Bye– and we came back to Hooper, <Switch> took a carriage & went over to the settlement– dined at Bishop [Gilbert] Belnap’s and went to meeting. Came home on evening train & went to E. H. [Emily Hill] Woodmansee’s silver wedding party took her a sugar spoon silver.¹

This morning had a long talk with Pres. [Francis A.] Hammond of San Juan Stake and with Sister [Elizabeth Young] Stanford–² went out awhile with Dr. Pratt on Hospital business, and took the train for Ogden. John Q. was on the train had a letter from Belle Dot & Em. also one from Mell & Daisie. Had a nice visit with Annie and the children, went to bed rather early for us. [p. 64] {p. 91}

This morning Annie went to the dress-maker’s and I kept baby– Ray the girl went home for a visit. I went over to Sister Jane Richards and took Q. Sweetie & Margaret with me. It rained and was quite chilly– later we had lunch and went to the depot for Emeline– I called at Sister Richards again, Emeline came up and went home with John Q. & Annie– wrote to Sisters [Mary Mitchell] Pitchforth & [Mary Wride] John’s tonight.

Today have been to see Manning [B. Wells] Hebe’s boy who is very ill– throat partly paralyzed; called at Mell’s old home– and at Lena’s had a letter from June inquiring about Allie Overton. went to my own old garden and called at Adeline [Woodward Earl]’s Inez [Earl Godbe] & the children are there. answered June’s letter wrote to my husband & Jane Richards [p. 65] {p. 92}

Emeline came down from Ogden to attend the funeral and my husband came up from Sanpete last evening I went down to my sweet old garden today around the places where I played with the little ones <under the trees where we sat> so often and where I have offered ten thousand prayers. <with my heart bleeding at every pore.> went up to Hebe’s stayed an hour or so. My heart is breaking & yet the dearest & nearest to me know nothing of my sorrow and the agony I am enduring <daily & hourly>

Went to the funeral Ort, Br. Nicholson & Hebe Grant spoke Manning looked very beautiful all in white– casket too–³ Rode up to the grave in the carriage with Susan & Hannah [Free Wells] Abbie [Wells Chapin] Phronie [Sophronia Spencer] Horne & Vilate <C. [Clayton]> Young Then took the D. & R. G. train & came up to Ogden. After dinner we had a nice ride and a quiet evening John Q. at home with us. [p. 66] {p. 93}

Monday morning rose very late– had a disturbed night, severe pain in my head & limbs. Stayed all day at Annie’s after dinner we came out for a ride but the wind blew up fiercely and I went to the train, came down home past my old garden, the dearest spot of all. went up to see my husband at Emily [Wells Grant]’s, he had been here three times in my absence, he leaves in the morning–

Today have been so busy had not time to attend to copy– called on Lucy B. [Bigelow] Young at the Lion House, went to Mrs. Dougall’s to a meeting of a business nature– then to Sister Howard’s and [Katherine Howard] Brockbank’s and [Maria Richards] Wilcox’s. D[r]. Barney took me a little ride. Wrote to Susie [Susa Young Gates] tonight at Provo– read proof and prepared copy. [p. 67] {p. 94}

Sush [Such] a dreadful day two years ago– and a gloomy one this is[,] rain and sleet, and I went out and got wet feet. My heart is breaking day by day until it seems more than human nature can bear. My dear old home to leave it and to be like a pilgrim and a wanderer is indeed sad. I am worried about Belle, her health is very poor and Mr. Sears gone wanted to go to Ogden but could <not>

This is the morning two years ago when those beautiful eyes faded away from earth and our hearts were broken with their weight of woe. It is a far nicer day, I went down town with the girl and sent off the blinds to Annie Mell by express. Then to the graveyard with Emeline. Rode until it was late– came home and wrote nine letters. [p. 68] {p. 95}

<Annie sent me an original poem yesterday entitled If Only> Angus <M.> Cannon’s birthday 55 years old. Mattie [Martha Hughes Cannon] has moved into her new house, left the corner last Saturday. I tried to go to Annie’s but did not get off until 1/2 past seven train, went up from the depot in a carriage. Ray has come back– Annie’s baby is lovely she is in better spirits than usual. We talked until very late & then retired tho’ I was not at all sleepy

Came down on morning train John Q. Annie Sweetie & Margaret all came in the carriage to the depot. Arrived home about , paper is out, lots of hindrances. Annie Christianson⁴ goes home today. Wrote 6 letters tonight. Went to a Committee meeting at Ri Dougalls and revised a Circular. Sister Horne & S. M. Kimball were on the Committee. [p. 69] {p. 96}

Last evening wrote off the form for the Circular. This morning had breakfast alone, went to the P.O. got letters from Belle, Daisie & Mrs. [Louisa Leavitt] Haight. Went down to my own old garden and gazed and sighed and moaned. Went to the Tabernacle John Nicholsen & O. F. Whitney each spoke went to Mell’s old place dined with the folks, then to Ort’s and to the ward meeting. John T. Caine addressed the meeting.

Today has been hurry and bustle, and I have scarcely known what I was doing, but after getting copy ready etc. I started off to Ogden and arrived very late at Annie’s. On the train met Br. Critchelow [William C. Critchlow] uncle to John [F. Critchlow] who is Daisie’s affiancee and he walked up with me to 7th, Street. I have been very sad today and not very well. and made up my mind not to stay here alone with so many gloomy thoughts [p. 70] {p. 97}

This is the day when one of the saddest events transpired two years ago–⁵ yes I am here in Ogden with Annie trying to banish my sorrow– but all the recollections rise up in spite of me and seem to be more than I can possibly endure– went over to see Sister Richards who is ill, and then Annie took me for a ride, afterwards I came home and spent the night alone.

This morning I was not well and I received a most annoying letter from a man– and that with other disagreeable incidents sadly affected my spirits. Such a gloom seemed to settle down upon me I could not rise above it and all the evening my feelings were almost uncontrollable. Ellen Clawson came to talk to me about the Primary day on June 1st.– Emeline went to the lake and very little was done. [p. 71] {p. 98}

This morning I felt too ill and depressed in spirits to rise, but at last got up and went over to Sister Clawson’s we together went in to speak to Pres. Woodruff– and also saw Pres. Cannon about the Children’s Day. John Q. came down and brought Sweetie & had her hair cut off– Sister Howard has been up Aunt Zina came home & Lula Greene [Richards] has been here. This evening I am alone as usual & trying to get up with my writing.

Today has been full of business– had an important letter this morning, bought Emmie Sears a sash & sent it by Mr. S. also a book for Bishop [Millen] Atwood Farm Festivals by Will Carlton went to the party in the 13th Ward for the Bishop Presidents Woodruff & Cannon were there also Jos. E. Taylor. Spoke from the stand– the only lady who did speak– [p. 72] {p. 99}

Such a busy day, no cessation of work, trying to write a poem and do many other things. These are very gloomy days and I am trying to write letters to every one and to get the paper out on time Went to the depot with the folks to see Mr. & Mrs. Strait of St. Louis off– Emeline & Lyde went with them to Ogden– so I felt I could stay over Sunday at home.

Sat up very late last night and stayed in bed late this morning. Wrote some particular letters today and worked away at the poem– read prooft too– and went to 18th Ward meeting in the evening Dr. Pratt and myself walked together– Br. Penrose was there and voted in the officers of the Ward, after meeting I went over to Ort’s and then home to resume my work [p. 73] {p. 100}

Hurried up all I could, Emeline had really not finished my mailing before she left so I had extra work. Received a letter from Ophelia [Andrews] Lovejoy of Haverhill an old school friend of mine. Such a pleasant remembrance. The poem is finished and in type– proof to read and letters to write. Went to see the picture Will [J. Willard] Clawson is making of my darling Louie. So many memories crowd around me I know not how to stem the tide

Have been busy with proof reading and helping make up the paper– such a weary day and towards evening when I had donned wrapper & slippers– who should come rapping at the door but Mr. [William C.] Hendrie I asked him to go into the parlor and wait for me to dress & so he did and we had a nice evening talking over old times he left about ten or may be a trifle later– [p. 74] {p. 101}

Last night after Mr. Hendrie had gone I could not sleep and was excessively nervous on account of old associations being brought up– Annie & the children came down today and brought lots of flowers and we went to the graveyard and scattered them over our loved ones– came home and called on the family. Mr. Hendrie came in the evening to see Annie & the children Emily [Cannon] came too.

Today we have has [had] so many callers– Mr. Hendrie among others and such confusion I went to the depot with Annie and came back and walked down to my old place– occupied the evening in writing and preparing to go to Provo next morning Sat up very late– fully expected Mr. Hendrie would call but he did not I think as there was no one left a card– [p. 75] {p. 102}

Went off to Provo hurried to the train and had no breakfast. Arrived in good time attended Conference and saw the sisters from other places. At noon dined with my old time friend Marilla [Johnson] Daniels & then to meeting in the afternoon spoke both forenoon & afternoon came out before it closed to catch the train, Lydia Ann [Alley Wells] was on coming home from Manti.